If you’ve spent any time on dating advice TikTok, Instagram, or podcasts lately, chances are you’ve come across relationship red flag queen, Sabrina Zohar.
As a relationship coach, entrepreneur, and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina has built a massive following by helping people break toxic dating cycles, understand their attachment styles, and stop abandoning themselves in relationships. Her advice is direct and compassionate, with no games or gimmicks — just good ol’ non-toxic dating advice for the modern world.
So when she joined me on Toxic Free with KB, we had to talk about it all:
- relationship red flags
- sex on the first date
- dating apps
- Situationships
- relationship anxiety
- Relationship boundaries
And one very important convo about what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship.
I won’t lie, I was ready to clutch on to my healthy marriage like a string of pearls during this convo, but was so drawn in by her philosophy – one that might be exactly what you need to hear if you’re in the dating game.
So before you go on your next date, tune in to this convo:
Are YOUR Relationship Red Flags Really Red Flags?
Zabrina wasted no time on getting to the good stuff. If we’re going to talk about dating advice, first, we’ve got to do a little bit of self-awareness practice.
Because the internet has become obsessed with relationship red flags. Someone doesn’t text back fast enough? Red flag. They use the wrong emoji? Red flag.
They like pineapple on pizza? Apparently, also a red flag?!
But according to Sabrina, we’ve completely lost the plot.
Real Relationship Red Flags to Look Out For
Real relationship red flags aren’t about quirky preferences or minor annoyances. They’re patterns of behavior that make you feel unsafe, unseen, manipulated, or disrespected.
Things like:
- Gaslighting
- Manipulation
- Consistently violating boundaries
- Disrespecting your needs
- Dismissing your feelings
- Being rude to other people
The problem is that it’s so easy to spend a whole lot of time looking for reasons to NOT like someone that you miss the bigger picture.
Her first piece of dating advice?
Instead of obsessing over red flags, pay attention to green flags, too.
Green Flags Worth Giving Weight To
And here’s what she says healthy relationships are actually built on:
- Consistency
- Reciprocity
- Reliability
- Respect
- Emotional safety
- Clear communication
Free, Unfiltered Dating Advice from Pro Relationship Coach Zabrina Zohar
Sex on the First Date? Sabrina Says There’s No Rule
Ah yes, one of dating’s oldest debates: Should you have sex on the first date?
My answer and Sabrina’s answer were completely different. She slept with her partner on the first date. I waited months. The funny thing is that we’re both in healthy relationships. And Sabrina said that’s exactly the point!
The timing isn’t what determines whether a relationship succeeds. The real question is:
Are you making decisions from a place of confidence and self-trust, or from fear, pressure, and people-pleasing?
Because dating advice that relies on rigid rules often misses the point entirely. There isn’t a magical number of dates that guarantees commitment. What matters is communication, compatibility, and whether you’re honoring your own needs and values throughout the process.
Why You Keep Dating the Same Person in a Different Body
Ouch, didn’t mean to sting with that one. But Sabrina says 1: it’s okay, and 2:there’s likely a reason.
Sabrina openly shares her experience growing up with a narcissistic father and how that influenced the relationships she found herself drawn to later in life.
Which brought up a hard truth for a lot of people:
Many of us are attracted to what’s familiar, not necessarily what’s healthy.
We repeat patterns and chase dynamics we’ve experienced before. We subconsciously seek relationships that reinforce stories we’ve been carrying for years.That’s why someone can swear they’ll never date the same type of person again… and somehow end up in the exact same relationship with a different person.
According to Sabrina, healing changes who you’re attracted to.
The more self-aware you become, the more likely you are to recognize unhealthy patterns before they become relationships.
Which is why so much of her work isn’t actually about dating or finding the “right” person. It’s focused on becoming the healthiest version of yourself first.
Situationships Usually Aren’t the Problem, Communication Is
If there was one word that came up over and over again in this conversation, it was communication. So let that burn into your brain!!
When we talked about situationships, particularly those that start from dating apps, Sabrina says we often mistake them for mysterious when they’re actually just bad communication.
One person assumes while the other avoids. Nobody asks the uncomfortable questions. Nobody says what they actually want. Flash forward months later, and everyone is confused.
Instead of spending months trying to decode someone’s behavior, Sabrina encourages people to have conversations early. Don’t be afraid to ask:
- What are you looking for?
- What do you want?
- What are your expectations?
- What are your boundaries?
It sounds simple, but clear communication in relationships can eliminate soooo much unnecessary anxiety and confusion. And I am speaking from experience!
No lie, my husband and I went to couples therapy on our third date. Other people might call us crazy, but we both agree that it’s changed our communication for the better.
In fact, we do a few things people will call us crazy for! Including airing our secrets publicly on a podcast haha. Want to hear the full convo?
→ Secrets to My Healthy Marriage: Separate Beds, Couples Therapy & Non-Toxic Communication
Don’t Freak Out, But Healthy Relationships Will Still Trigger You
Healing doesn’t stop once you find a healthy relationship. Sabrina says that, in many ways, that’s when some of the real work begins.
Because healthy relationships don’t magically erase relationship anxiety. Your attachment wounds won’t immediately heal and your insecurities will probably linger around for a while.
But once you’re in a healthy relationship, you’re able to work through those things differently.
A huge part of our conversation circled around nervous system regulation, self-awareness, and personal responsibility. A healthy relationship isn’t two perfectly healed people finding each other. It’s two people willing to communicate, grow, and take ownership of their own healing.And when it is truly the right person, you’ll be able to do that without guilt, jealousy, or resentment!
Want All Of Sabrina Zohar’s Dating Advice? Tune Into the Full Episode
There’s seriously so much more to unpack. I mean, we spent an hour and 32 minutes talking about everything:
- Dating app burnout
- Attachment styles
- Relationship anxiety
- Boundaries that actually work
- Dating after toxic relationships
- Politics and compatibility
- Nervous system regulation
- Healing childhood wounds
If you’re tired of surface-level dating advice, this is the conversation you need to hear.
🎧 Listen on Apple or Spotify
📺 Watch the full episode on YouTube
